Thoughts

From the time I was in high school, I've watched (mostly) girls/women spend so much time curling their hair if it is straight, straightening their hair if it is curly, painstakingly applying makeup. What began with wearing the right clothes to fit in with the crowd has become obsessions with jewelry and designer bags and worrying about wrinkles in your shirt. The first question I often hear when someone is wearing something new is "How much did it cost?"

I didn't really fit in. I still don't. There was very little extra money when I was growing up and it would never have gone for designer anything - even if it had been available in my home town. I watched the others and, at some point, decided I did not want to be high maintenance. I would wear jewelry that meant something to me. I would not care about designer names or labels.

At some point, my low maintenance became minimal maintenance - doing just enough to get by. That has gone on too long. I have finally reached the point of wanting to change. Hence 2014 being the Year of Self-care.

There is a lot of work to be done to clear the layer of ennui from my life, to dust off the person deep inside who still does not want to be high maintenance but knows she can be so much more than she currently is. She needs to care about herself first and foremost.

I know it won't be easy but it is likely the most important thing I ever do.